Age Difference Doesn’t Matter In Your Relationship
Age Difference Doesn’t Matter In Your Relationship, what do you think? Today’s topic means a lot to me because it comes up a lot in my one on one relationship advice coaching sessions with my clients, and I’m really looking forward to diving into it with you today.
The topic is this age difference. Let me start by asking you a question, does age difference really create problems in our relationships? For those of you who are reading this article, and are actively in a relationship that presents a big age difference, don’t worry.
In essence, the bare-bones answer is no, age in itself doesn’t create obstacles in relationships. However, while age in itself might not create an obstacle, an obstacle that might be a consequence of age difference is experience difference. See, when we’re in different parts of our lives. We’re also experiencing different things, learning different tools and accommodating and honouring experiences.
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Differences in relationships is really important. If you’re seeing or dating someone much older than you are, or much younger than you are. You might notice that there are a few differences in experience, whether it’s a personal experience, professional experience or, relationship experience.
I have so many clients for example, who are in relationships with men or women who are much younger than they are but then get frustrated with them when they’re unable to problem-solve or manage difficulties in the relationship. So I think the reason I present that as an example in this article is not to deter you from engaging in a relationship that has an age difference, but it is to encourage you to empathize with and acknowledge experience difference, and what that means for you and your partner.
The more we date, the more tools we have. And the more tools we acquire for our relationship toolbox. These tools become really critical and really helpful in overcoming hiccups and issues that the relationship might encounter during its lifeline. But if you have limited dating experience, It is likely that you also have fewer tools than maybe someone with more dating experience.
A comparison or an analogy might be expecting for someone to reach up and grab you something that sits very high, without a ladder. Without that ladder, they are simply unable to reach out and grab the item that is a value for you. And so the goal is not to say, well then I don’t want this person, but the goal might be to identify that they’re not the person to ask to reach up and grab that item.
So it’s really about accommodating and tailoring your relationship to the experience levels that are inside of it. Some people are going to have more experience, while Some will have less experience.
Some people will feel more financially stable, some people will feel more financially unstable. All of these realities, all of these differences are important, all of them are valuable and all of them are equal. So because you have more experience than the other, it doesn’t mean you’re the better partner, but it does mean you might be able to teach them or share some valuable lessons that you’ve learned along the way to encourage and speed up their development,and their ability to gain more experience, and earn more tools that will consequently improve your experience in the relationship.
I understand that this might be a longer winded answer. And in essence, age, in itself, doesn’t present difficulties, but differences in experience can be challenging. The same might apply to loving each other, those with less experience might not know how to love you in the way you need. And so it’s important to also be mindful of differences such as these, and being able to communicate to your partner what it is that you’re looking for, what you find valuable in a relationship, what you want to nourish and what you’d like to discard.
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“Age Difference Doesn’t Matter In Your Relationship”
For those who are experiencing a gap in experience, then it might be important to embrace communication. A great way to bridge the gap is communication. So that doesn’t necessarily imply that, I’m seeing someone with more or less experienced than me, it must mean that we’re not meant to be. On the contrary, it means that you certainly very well may be meant to be. However, you might need that extra tool, and communication might be an excellent tool for the both of you to work on and implement in your relationship.
For those of you who have less experience than your partner, you need to tell them, “hey listen, I haven’t learned that yet, or I’m not familiar with the scenario, can you help me out?”, or, “here’s something that I’m working on being able to communicate”.
Lack of experience is also such a powerful tool for you to employ in your relationship. So many of us want to over promise, we always hope to over deliver. But in reality, having less experience isn’t a bad thing. You’re human, and your senior partner or your senior experience partner might have a clue as to what that feels like. Because before they had the experience, they had to gain it from somewhere. And so if anything, this might be a great opportunity for the both of you to bond for the both of you to profoundly, deeply connect for the both of you to find a balance that suits your relationship.
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So I hope that this has been helpful in answering the really big question of this age difference causing problems. I also hope that this has been thought provoking and helping you see that age, does not need to present problems in your relationship, as long as you’re willing to communicate and be vocal about them. Don’t promise tools that you don’t have, and don’t expect your partner to have tools that they may not have.
So I hope that this provides support for you in helping you if you are in a relationship where there’s an age difference and you feel like you are unable to keep your relationship alive or happy, so many couples who have age differences are able to bridge the gap of experience differences simply by being vocal and communicating. You don’t need to say that you have tools that you in reality, do not, nor should you impose tools or experience on your partner. If you are willing to communicate. You can bridge the gap, you can overcome any difficulty, even if it pertains to experience differences. You don’t need to rush the process.
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